Only A Southerner..............

I got this in an email and loved it.  My comments are in red:

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
I really like this one.  I can remember Mom saying she was going to fix a mess of greens; and Thomas sometimes says "Well, we caught enough fish to make a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
And you pronounce it "drectly".

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.  They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.  If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana pudding.
I agree with this and would only add that a good substitute for potato salad would be mashed potatoes, gravy and homemade
biscuits;  that and the fried chicken are about the best solace food around  --  same premise, though.

Only Southerners grow up knowing the  difference between "right near" and "a right far piece."  They  also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.  But it's almost impossible to explain it to anyone else.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
I LOVE this one!!!

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.   Very, very true!

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines ... and when we're "in line"  we talk to everybody!
This is my Alabama-born husband to a tee!!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related even if only by marriage.

In the South, y' all is singular ..... all o' y' all is plural.
This is my absolute favorite!!!!!  I have tried and tried to explain this concept to my son, but he just won't get it!!

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Yes, but when you're from Kentucky (borderline Southern) you may actually prefer to eat them as a sweetened breakfast food instead of as a salted side dish.  A word of advice:  don't eat them sweetened when you're visiting  relatives who live in the "real" South; they will be appalled!

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; AMEN!!!
that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food;  My mom has made many and many a breakfast of ham, biscuits and red-eye gravy (and if you don't know what red-eye gravy is you probably weren't raised in the country)  and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.  Amen again.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."  Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.  "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
I can remember visiting relatives asking for "sweet milk" when I was younger.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream
obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way.

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff .... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southern-ness as a second language!

And for those who are not from the South but have lived here for a long time all o' y' all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
I Love that one too!

Everyone have a great weekend!!