1:00 p.m.: 29 degrees outside with a windchill of 18. Yesterday it was 74!
Paula quoted Sandra Boynten today, giving us the statistic that 14 out of every 10 women surveyed love chocolate. In honor of that I just ate a 60-calorie Hershey's Milk Chocolate Stick. Mmmmmmmmm.
I am now all caught up with Paula's entries, and am working my way through Guido's journal. Guido, my man, you are one prolific journaler!
For your amusement, let me list some new drugs for women. Coming soon to a pharmacy near you:
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.
Have a great day!
6 comments:
there are sewveral new drugs that i need! Where do I get them?
Kelli
http://journals.aol.com/kamdghwmw/noonmom
14 out of 10 women?? LOL! Weird thing....I was eating some chocolate when I opened this entry! Made me enjoy it a bit more!
Love the new meds...I think I'll ask my doc for an RX today!LOL
Pam
This is right up my street, Lori *cough* *cough*. But you had one hell of a fall in temps. In my books, you went from +23C to -2C?? OUCH
Hey, I like some of the ones on that list!! Thanks for sharing!
Hugs
Carrie
LOL! Does insurance cover any of those??? Jae
LOL! Hope my insurance will cover the new meds. I think I could use a few of them ;-)
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