Survivor: The Classroom

One of my sisters, a teacher, sent this to me today.  I thought it was pretty good:

Next season's Survivor show:

SURVIVOR: school classroom island

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?

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Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in a school classroom for 6 weeks. They will be assigned 2 weeks to an elementary school, 2 weeks to a middle school, and 2 weeks to a high school. Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district's curriculum, and a class of 28-32 students.

Each class will have seven learning-disabled children, four with A.D.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three will be labeled with severe behavior problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must also, at all times be ready to supervise any “unsupervised” students and monitor the hallways.

In addition, they will complete fire drills, tornado drills, and [Code Red] drills for shooting attacks. 

They must attend workshops, donate 24 hours of professional development to the district, attend faculty meetings, union meetings, attend curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor those students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the CATS test and meet satisfactory goals of the No Child Left Behind Act.  If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let it show.

Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into all areas of study. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment at all times.

The business people will only have access to the golf course on the weekends, but on their new salary they will not be able to afford it anyway.  There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunchwill be limited to 20 minutes.  The business people will be permitted to use the staff restroom during their planning period, and if they need the bathroom anyother time, they may go as long as another survival candidate is supervising their class.

They will be provided with one 40-minute planning each day while their students are at special areas.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials at this time. They cannot surpass their daily limit.  The business people must continually advance their education on their own time and with their own money.

The winner will be allowed to return to his or her job.

Pass this to your friends who think teaching is easy and to the ones that know it is hard.