A Bit Serious Today

All over J-Land I am reading some (not most, but some) entries that are made out of frustration, sadness, anxiety, etc., and my heart goes out to these journalers.  So I thought I'd address one of the topics that seems to be worrying some of my on-line friends.

So regarding trolls and unsolicited emails of the hurtful or confusing type: 

-My thoughts -

I read, and am read by, a diverse group of people.  I don't expect all of them to be exactly like myself or to feel exactly as I do on all subjects -- or even on most subjects.  If I wanted to read (or be read by) people with my exact thoughts and tastes, it would be entirely possible for me to do so.  I would simply search out those profiles that fit my requirements, visit their journals and invite them to visit mine.  If I didn't want anyone else to read my journal or to comment in my journal I would make it private and open only to those of like-mind.  But since I read the journals that I like, and since it isn't a requirement for me to like a journal written only by someone just like me, I read very diverse journals.  I like being able to do that.

I don't open up here in this journal about my opinions on some controversial subjects, including, but not limited to, religion, politics, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, social problems, or nationality.  You may feel that you can get an accurate idea of my opinion on these subjects by reading my journal, and perhaps you will be able to do so.  But I wouldn't count on it.  The reason I don't usually open up on these subjects is this:  I don't have to.

This is MY journal.  I write about what I want.  I know that if I write about a controversial subject I may open myself up to having to deal with a comment from someone who would like to disagree, argue, preach, coerce, judge, or condemn me, along with comments from those whose opinion matches my own.  I don't want to have to deal with that.  And that is not what THIS journal is for.  There is nothing wrong with having a journal that facilitates that type of discussion, but it isn't the purpose of THIS journal.  There is nothing wrong with bringing up such a subject in due course of writing an entry or of sharing your life with your readers, but then you have to be ready to deal with the human element -- your readers' reactions.  And I don't want to do that.  So I have a fairly happy little journal with usually fairly happy little entries, hopefully funny sometimes, maybe even informative.  And I like it that way.

It upsets me when I see other journalers having to deal with emails, in particular anonymous emails, or comments that are meant to be hurtful or that try to push personal opinions or beliefs down the journaler's throat.  I don't think that there is anything wrong with well-thought-out comments that make a point, even if the point is in oposition to the journaler, and that are made using kind, intelligent words, thoughtful concern, and consideration for the one being addressed.  Those types of comments, even when they are in disagreement with the journaler's entry, can be read as sincerely-meant, personal feelings by the commenter, and there can never be anything wrong with those.

I don't believe the same way as all of the journalers that I read.  I don't necessarily agree with any or all of their religious beliefs, political affiliations, or personal lifestyles.  But obviously there was something about that person and the journal that they write that I was drawn to or felt I could connect to, or I wouldn't be reading it.  If someone writes something that I find in disagreement with my own personal beliefs I simply don't read that entry.  In my real life I am friendly with people of many walks of life.  I don't judge them, and I don't condemn them.  I am friendly with people who don't necessarily agree with me on all things and who may actually disagree vehemently with me on some subjects, given the chance.  But they still appreciate other things about me, and I them.  Anyone I know in real life who is or does or believes something that I absolutely cannot handle, knows this and we go along on equal footing of knowing where we each stand and just how far the friendship or acquaintanceship will go. 

I guess the point driving this long entry is this:  I think it's a shame that any one of us cannot write anything we choose in our own journal without having to worry about stressing out over a response.  I recently read with interest entries made regarding abortion.  In each one that I read I saw comments expressing the opposite opinion, but doing so kindly and with respect for the writer's own opinion.  That was impressive -- listening to someone else's opinions and responding respectfully, without compromising your own beliefs. 

It's a shame that "trolls" will always be out there.  The troll is looking for a reaction, and as long as he gets one, he'll return.  It's especially sad that some journalers are more sensitive to these types of aggravations, and cannot as easily as others shrug off these ugly varmints.  What's really a shame is that they would have to be put in a position to do so in the first place.  But this is, apparently, part and parcel to having an online journal.  One has to weigh the good with the bad, and go from there.

To those who are having to deal with this stress -- do what is right for you.  Continue to write what you want in your journal.  Ignore anyone who makes you unhappy.  We all have enough stress in our lives already.  We don't need to invite in more by giving any kind of credence to trolls.