I want to thank everyone for their very nice wishes for Thomas' family. The memorial service was very nice and a lot of Mr. H's family came in from several states. His father had had three wives and children from each wife. Mr. H was the last one living from the first group; there are three from the second group, two of which came in; and there are four from the third group, all of whom came in.
I know there are things Thomas will miss about his dad; the good things he remembers from when he was a child, but I think he grieved for his dad a long time ago when he realized he wasn't going to be the kind of father and grandfather that Thomas needed him to be. But yesterday out of the blue he said, "You know, all the rain we've had the past two weeks -- it wouldn't surprise me if that's why Daddy died Monday. He never could take rainy seasons."
We really enjoyed seeing some of Thomas' family we hadn't seen in years, and some I'd never met before.
It is finally sunny and beautiful today, after five straight days of rain. I'll come back later and tell what I've been doing. It's been a busy day!
3 comments:
Glad it went as well as these things can. Will continue to keep ya'll in my prayers! - Barbara
Sometime that is the only time you get to see relatives is when something like this happens. Glad it was a nice memorial service. Hope Thomas is taking things as well as he can under the circumstances. Paula
Even when we aren't close to a parent for whatever childhood neglect or abuse they may have placed upon us, we still grieve for the parent we never had. That is saddest of all, to think that we could have had so much more, and how much better adjusted and more confident we would be if we had the parent of our dreams. We do miss out when a parent is absent, not just physical absence, but emotional absence as well. Parents don't always know how to be parents, but those that survive their childhood and become adults do have strengths, and a determination to be a better parent. For that we owe them something. My sister is grieving angrily that our mother wasn't the mother she wanted or needed her to be. She's right in some ways. But how can one go back and change it all? I think folks need to forgive their parents of their mistakes and misgivings, like your husband has done, and get on with the life of being a better person and parent because of it. Still, I am sorry for your loss, and glad that you have a good grasp of the situation for your children's sake. :-) Bea
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