Making My Entry A Few Days Late

This past week Randi, at I Have To Say, hosted a "Back To Home School Week, with a different theme for each day.  She got a lot of response, and I have only just begun to read some of the many comments she got, or click on the links to read individual bloggers who contributed during the week.  I had planned to write something each day myself, but then we felt so rotten most of the week, that I didn't even attempt it.  If you home school or are thinking of home schooling, you may want to visit Randi's blog.  It's a new one for me; I can't even remember who it was who drew my attention to it, but I've been enjoying it.

The first day's theme, Monday, was What Led To Your Decision To Home School?  

If you have been reading my journal for the past year, you probably know why.  Last year Eler Beth was a fifth grader, and a very unhappy one.  Toward the end of her third grade year she started getting anxiety attacks.  We came to the conclusion that they were caused, at least in part, by unresolved grief following my father's death.  We did what we could to help her, and her teacher, along with another lady at the school (with whom Eler Beth got very close), helped a lot also.  I was working full-time then, and that made it harder for her and for me.

By the time she got to fourth grade her anxiety attacks were less frequent, and Mrs. C (the home-school resources teacher, with whom she was so close) really took care of her that year.  When Eler Beth felt a panic attack coming on she'd go to Mrs. C, and they'd talk or take a walk around the school, taking nice calming breaths, or she'd let Eler Beth call me just to say hello.  She also got along great with her fourth grade teacher.  But she still had some bad days, enough that she was missing a lot of school.  She was also catching just about every bug that was going around.

My full-time job ended in June of last year, and Thomas and I made the decision that I wouldn't go back to work as long as we could make it on one salary.  He even changed jobs to help us in that area.  We had already pretty much decided to home school Eler Beth when she got to middle school, but I really wanted her to finish out her elementary years at the school she had always gone to, that her brother had gone to, and where I had spent many a volunteer hour and dollar! Ha!  Old ties are hard to break, I guess.

But fifth grade started badly and got worse.   She could not warm up to her teacher.   I had heard not-so-glowing reports about this particular teacher before, but since Andrew had never had her I didn't have any personal knowledge of her.  I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, and I definitely didn't share anything I had heard with Eler Beth.  But from the beginning it seemed that she just did not have the personality that would appeal to Eler Beth and vice versa.  Well, we all have to learn to get along with different personalities in this world; sometimes we have to work for them.  But as time went on I saw too many instances where this teacher did not take Eler Beth seriously; I caught her out in two very blatant lies; I heard a very disturbing report that led me to speak with school officials.  To put it bluntly I had no confidence in this teacher as a person, much less as a teacher for my daughter.   This was a completely new experience for me as a parent.  Both kids had had teachers that perhaps wouldn't have won any popularity contests, but neither had ever had one that they actually didn't like and that Thomas and I had no confidence in. 

All year Eler Beth had begged me to home school.  But I, mistakenly attributing what would have been my own feelings to her, was sure that if I did take her out then, that she'd regret not finishing the year there and having a graduation ceremony with her friends.  But the stress was telling on all of us, especially me and Eler Beth.  Even Andrew (our son) was saying "Home school her!"  Toward the end of the year I said in exasperation to Thomas, "For just a little bit I'd take her out right now and teach her at home for the rest of the year!"  His resonse was, "Do it!"

So we did.  The very next dayI wrote the letters to the appropriate people, and the next Monday we went into school and got her things.  That weekend, several times, I would say, "Are you sure you want to do this?  Are you sure you won't regret leaving in the middle of your last year there?  Are you sure you won't be disappointed not graduating with your friends?"   She was sure!

We started home schooling that week and we've never looked back.  Her health is better.  She has very few panic attacks, and they are manageable.  She learned more in the last half of last year than she had in the first half.  I found out that some basic things that I had assumed our kids had been taught or exposed to by the time they got to fifth grade had not been introduced to them yet.  In fact, I think I've learned as much from Eler Beth as she has from me these past eight months!

Now she's a sixth grader.  We began her year a couple weeks ago, easing into it gradually.  And we are glad we made the decision to home school, and I only wish I'd been able to do it several years sooner!

Tags: home schooling, I Have To Say